i'm now preparing to go to the clinic for a ctscan.
this will be administered after 2 cycles (4 sessions) of chemo done for the past month.
many have asked, what do i feel? to tell you honestly, i'm just calm. i bet a lie detector for it or any psychologist for that reason.
am i afraid to die? nope. the reason maybe is i don't have any bad feelings to anyone right now and i have loved what i lived for; and i'm still living for it.. maybe for three years i have mastered the art of dying. when you want to let go of something you can't have or shouldn't have, you let yourself die and live for a new one: it maybe a thing or an idea.
now, my body will just be scanned for the growth of gremlins. i'll have the result maybe tomorrow or by wednesday, and then i will prepare for the next exercise.
not the time for oceans and rivers for now, be a water in a lake for me, be still...
this is just a scan
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nothing in the world is more flexible and yielding than water. yet when it attacks the firm and the strong, none can withstand it, because they have no way to change it. so the flexible overcome the adamant, the yielding overcome the forceful. everyone knows this, but no one can do it.
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