Saturday, June 28, 2008

just a scan

i'm now preparing to go to the clinic for a ctscan.
this will be administered after 2 cycles (4 sessions) of chemo done for the past month.

many have asked, what do i feel? to tell you honestly, i'm just calm. i bet a lie detector for it or any psychologist for that reason.

am i afraid to die? nope. the reason maybe is i don't have any bad feelings to anyone right now and i have loved what i lived for; and i'm still living for it.. maybe for three years i have mastered the art of dying. when you want to let go of something you can't have or shouldn't have, you let yourself die and live for a new one: it maybe a thing or an idea.

now, my body will just be scanned for the growth of gremlins. i'll have the result maybe tomorrow or by wednesday, and then i will prepare for the next exercise.

not the time for oceans and rivers for now, be a water in a lake for me, be still...
this is just a scan

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