be with me

it seems that i had a long day last wednesday. after office, i went to my doctor to discuss about the latest ctscan result. there is no change between the results of the ctscan before and after the initial 4 chemo sessions i took for the past 2 months. the doctor was good enough to advise us to think many times on the gamble we will be having if we continue my chemo. a next chemo session will cost at least 150% of a chemo session i already took. he also told us that pancreatic ca treatment with chemo is still not curative, but 'hoping' for prolonging the life of a patient depending on the body response. so we have agreed that i will consult him again after a month or two, with my decision. jo1 has teary eyes during the check-up and i always butt-in a joke 'why are you crying' while her friend, who was also there, just look at us and smile.

after the check-up, me, jo1, and her friend ate our dinner and still discussed my case. we prayed and also discussed how to live with God. then we went home.

jo1 and i agreed that i'll be having alternative treatment. i already have in mind about dr. tam mateo.

thursday... i had a day-off from office. recomposed myself. i continue my research on the internet about alternative treatments. in western countries, there are a lot of protocols they are using as alternative treatments, but for months i can't find one of them which is available here. then finally, i saw dr. manuel navarro's name. he already passed away, but his son dr. efren navarro continue giving alternative treatment to cancer patients. i called on the clinic and have been advised to give urine sample by friday and have the consultation on saturday.

friday(today)... i still have something in my mind which asks 'is it for real'? i collected my urine sample and went to the clinic. the clinic is inside a village. at the front of the house, i can't see anything inside. it is a huge house though, just looking at the length of the wall, gate, and the roof. upon entering, i saw nuns seated on a porch. they were receiving medicines from the doctor's assistant and at the same time they were giving urine samples as well. then when they look at me, i smiled at them. they asked me if i am a patient also of dr. navarro and what is my case. i told them that it was my first time to be there and i told them my case. typically, they asked my age, civit status, etc. they got my number and told me that they will pray for me. i asked them what are their cases. they are cancer patients too, living at least 5 years now. they've been treated with chemo and stuff before, but after having no good result they started using alternative treatments. now, i'm really contented with what i'll be having.

friends and relatives, please stay with me in spirit... my decision is still to fight for this one... i'm not giving up yet. be with me... be still